Living by Example!

The way we think about people is generally based upon their dress and deportment. It is not always that we end up judging them for what they really are. One incident comes to my mind. One my bosses, for whom I have the highest of respects, narrated this incident to me.

He had a custom of inviting an employee on the last day of his service for a cup of tea. After inquiring about his health, wealth and etc., the employee was given a warm send off with appropriate words of praise and encouragement. So here was a cook who was retiring after 40 odd years of service. The conversation went something like this:

So, what is the plan? You will stay on here in the city or will you join your son?

Sir, I will be here and let my son be happy wherever he is.

Why? You will find it more comfortable to be taken care of by him in your old age, don’t you?

No, sir. Actually I would be happy to be otherwise.

Why, doesn’t your son love you?

Quite the contrary, sir! We can not ask for a better son than he is.

So where is the problem?

It just happens, sir, that my son is the Collector of so and so district. He is in a different league than what I am. While I am proud of his achievement, I do not have the stature to be of any comfort to him, if I stay with him. You will be glad to know that despite what he is, he comes to my ‘jhopdi’ (a Hindustani colloquial for hutted accommodation) once in a while, stays with me and sleeps on the ground. He is as affectionate and proud of us as we are of him. Throughout his childhood, I have told him only one thing. ‘Son, you aspire to be an IAS one day. I am an ordinary, unlettered cook. There is only one thing I can tell you. Through my 40 odd years of service, I have never been absent, drunk or undisciplined. I may not be the best cook that the establishment has seen. But I have been devoted to my work and did whatever I can from my heart. There is nothing more I have to say to guide you through your life.

My boss, he confessed, was speechless. He told me that he considered as a privilege to shake hands with this cook and bid him farewell on retirement.

People can always surprise you. The most complicated things in life are actually extraordinarily simple. It is the simple basics that always confound us. It is important to have our bearings right, if we seek to be happy and contended in life. Buddha considered ‘desire’ as the source of all sufferings. A more pragmatic philosopher is yet to walk on Earth! In our vexations about life, most of the time we are only concerned about what we want to be tomorrow. Seldom do we seek to know what we are today.

But there are some who do know what they are and happy to be so, however simple and humble they may be. They live by their example!       

Life is funny!

The funniest thing about life is some people take it too seriously! I know that this is a statement with contradictions. How can anyone feel funny about something so serious? I am reminded of a story that my grandma used to narrate.

In a marriage, when the whole clan was into fun, frolic and laughter, there was this girl who stood in one corner and kept sobbing throughout. Granny noticed and called her over to inquire. The conversation went somewhat like it is below:

No, no granny, no one teased me. I was just being afraid, now that I have come of marriageable age, what will happen to me?

Don't worry, beta (an Indian way of addressing children that simply means 'son' or 'daughter'), I was also afraid a long time before. I am a granny now! There is nothing to worry.

Oh, no granny! marriage is okey. But they say labour pain is unbearable. What will happen to me?

Come on beta, I have had seven children and they have fourteen!! There is nothing to worry.

Granny, having children is fine. What if they are daughters? How will I get them married off?

Listen, young one. All my children are daughters. Half my grand children too. There is nothing to worry.

That's okay, granny. What if they are sons? I do not know what kind of daughter-in-laws I will get? Ooooh, what will happen to me?

The story actually ends here without an end! My granny used to wind up by saying, 'Beta, there is actually no end to human worries. All I would suggest is WORRY IF U MUST! BUT DO NOT LET IT BOTHER U FOR LIFE!

There is only one life that we will remember in a lifetime. There are challenges and troubles. But then, life will not be interesting without them.Remember Midas? He could never enjoy all that gold. Even gold became a punishment for him.

Live today. Be good to yourself and if you can, to others too!      

Climb Every Mountain!

In cintinuation of my previous post "Dreams - No pain, No gain", the lyrics of one my most favourite songs is given below:

Sound Of Music Album:- Climb Every Mountain - Lyrics

Climb every mountain,
Search high and low,
Follow every highway,
Every path you know.

Climb every mountain,
Ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow,
'Till you find your dream.

A dream that will need
All the love you can give,
Every day of your life
For as long as you live.

Climb every mountain,
Ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow,
Till you find your dream

A dream that will need
All the love you can give,
Every day of your life,
For as long as you live.

Climb every mountain,
Ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow,
Till you find your dream.

Link is on this blog, in the bar on the right side!

Dreams – No Pain, No Gain!

I was talking to a child finishing school today. Her mother manages to keep her family of four by doing manual labour. This child wants to do her BBA and enter the hospitality industry. The three year degree course is going to cost her over Rs 2 lac. I can see a dream glinting in her eyes though her means are hardly anything to take her through to her dream.

What makes the humans tick but for their dreams! While mankind is familiar with great leaders who had a dream and achieved them through their skillful endeavors, there are millions of ordinary beings with limited or no means who have managed to attain their dreams too. In my opinion these are the real heroes. For the rich and powerful having a clear dream is the only requirement. But for ordinary humans, finding a way to their dreams is a task besot with a thousand challenges. Long time ago, 14 years to be precise, I met a child who was completing her B Arch. Like every typical Indian father, her papa was keen that she finishes her B Arch, gets into a job and gets married. She had a different dream. She wanted to do her Masters in Arch and go on to become a renowned architect! Since her father was known to me, one day he came over and asked me to talk to her and convince her to do his bidding. So she came to see me.

In a long time thereafter, I have not come across another child with such clarity of thought and convictions. Over the two or three hours that we spoke, I was truly impressed by her zest to seek what she sought. She had everything worked out and supremely confident that she will make it. Her dream, simply put, was to do M Arch from University of Arizona and then make it big! Why Arizona? It was the best Univ for Arch in her opinion, after considerable research. She wouldn’t settle for anything but the best. There was only one hitch. She was so devoted to her parents that she wanted to take it on only with her parents consent. So at the end of our session, I took it upon myself to speak to her father and convince him to say ‘yes’. We spoke to a bank manager who agreed to extend a loan and went about getting her passport, et al. And the girl did what she had to do – took the entrance exams and other related tests, obtained such a high score that an impressed Univ offered her full scholarship! Her father did not need to take a loan.

It is not what we dream about but how convinced we are about our dream. We need to work too. No dream ever comes true without an honest endeavor. No pain, no gain!      

Abolishing Death Penalty

The UN News and OHCHR have hailed the abolition of death penalty by the state of Connecticut. It is the 17th State to do so in the US. Human Rights campaigners across the world have a reason to celebrate. It is interesting and equally puzzling that the two largest democracies in the world - India and the US - are the two countries who did not ratify the clause on NO DEATH penalty in the UN Charter of Human Rights! The arguements for and against this have been raging ever since. It is a milestone in US history that this stance is changing.

The penal system, unlike the mediavel times, today aims not at punishing aberrant behavior but to reform the defaulter and integrate him into the mainstream society. There have been interesting counters though. Society's thirst for revenge or society's need to amend behavior? Both points have interesting plus and minusses. But the bottom line of all these debates and changes is the need to have an efficient judicial system that meets out justice in a reasonable time frame. Take Kasab's trial for example - the way it is being dragged about, eventually produces vexation in the hearts of innocent victims of his crime that apparantly will not settle for nothing less than his life. Had the trials been quick, fair and clean with a life term may be the justice would seem to have been done! 

Trial of Charles Taylor

The verdict in the ICC on Charles Taylor is significant on two accounts. One, it is the first time we have a head of state on trial for crimes under IHL. Second, is a pointer towards an evolving world conscience that seeks to obtain justice for everyone! From Nuremberg to Charles Taylor, we have come a long way, but as Robert Frost says we " have miles to before" we "sleep" in the comfort and knowledge that the world is a safer place for innocent citizens!

Nations, particularly the powerful and rich, at times behave like individual humans who are powerful and rich - show scant regard to the lives and concerns of people elsewhere. Unlike the world of chengiz Kahn and Attlia where the sword decided everything and the winner was always right, today the six billon citizens of the world earnestly seek to set aside violence and find peace and opportunity to to live life with dignity. Every effort, therefore of nations, unions and individuals need to unite towards this purpose. Irresponsible governments and leaders must be brought to book and held accountable for their actions so that governance across the world is truely 'for the people, by the people and of the people'!