I am my own puzzle..unsolved

Friends are the touchstone of our life. They reflect the real you and many times the reality that they reflect back puzzles you. This is what I felt when a friend of mine asked me a simple question - what do I think my objectives in life were?

Having scored half past a century, I was smug in my comfort zone that I have reached where I want to and the remaining life is just to be lived off the brownies that I have already earned. That is when this poser from a friend came. Sitting back, I reflected on the so called brownies in my kitty. The more deep down I went, the more I realized the transient nature of our objectives in life. The more you garner, the more appears necessary. The playing field never has a definable boundary. That is when I begin to feel that the actual playing field is not outside in the physical world that surrounds me. It is inside. The more the heart craves, the larger the field becomes.

So do I become a Buddha? Give up 'desires'. Stop moving and the field ends there. It is nice to imagine that the mind (and the heart) could be frozen. Like Osho says "be still". Being still is not a product of the control that we have on our mind. It is rather the awareness that we have no desire to control. To be in control is an acknowledgement of desire. It is also an acknowledgement of fear - the fear of having to face the unknown which by controlling we want to avoid encountering.

All our life we try to control things around us. In reality, it is the desire to feel secure in the environment that we feel we keep under our control. Fallacy though it may be, for the forces of nature and those around us exercise larger influence over our life than what we think we control, we still believe that we are in charge.

If that be so, then what objectives do I have or should I have? To control or consciously let go? MDQ - million dollar question. There is an interesting line in the song by Olivia Newton-John:

If you love me, let me know.

If you don't, let me go.

I can take another meaning

of a day without you in it....

Though the song may be on a romantic note, the deeper meaning is worthy of reflection. Let go of control for in essence we own nothing.

Coming back to my friend's question...well, the debate is open.

   

The 'Friendly Colleague'!

It was quite interesting. I mean the way two colleagues were vying with each other to have the boss’s complete attention. Competition in the office and professional jealousy is something that most of us live with everyday. Some of us cope with and some loose out. At the end of the day, however, one finds that the winner is actually equal to the loser (or vice versa).

There are reasons for saying so.

First, look at what every boss actually needs. He needs out put and achievement of goals. If one thinks that he became boss just to fulfill his personal needs, well, there are better myths to believe. He was an achiever and therefore he reached! He knows that you also want to reach and it is but natural that you have to achieve first.

Second, look at what you need. If you are looking for a life long friend by cozying up to your boss, well, it is better you give it a second thought. There are better avenues to make friends. Honestly, you are actually looking for becoming a boss your self. There is nothing wrong in that, by the way. Every reasonable man must want to grow. It is just that you got to work to become what you want to be!

So how do we balance these aspects. Simple –

First, be a professional in your field.

Second, be nice and courteous to your boss.

Third, remember, he wants results more than friendship.

Fourth and last, if it so happens that you do become friends, consolidate the relationship by all means (after all good friends are hard to come by!), but do not mix work with friendship!!