The issue was quite simple. But
then, we as humans have a penchant for making everything as complex as
possible. While we allow our perceptions and prejudices to rule, there is
little space given to reason and logic. In this instance, the issue was about a
top floor neighbor sweeping his balcony and letting the water splash over the
verandah of the bottom-floor occupant.
The bottom-floor occupant
approached the top-floor neighbor requesting not to let the water spill over.
Should such washing and pouring of water was un-avoidable, he further requested
him to at least let him know so that he can remove the items kept in the
bottom-floor verandah so as to prevent them from getting wet. Sounded
reasonable. But the top-floor neighbor took offence. He rattled sufficient
sabers on the bottom-floor occupant and refused to keep him informed.
He started to wash his verandah
daily and poured excessive water. Further he went to the society (association
of house occupants in that colony) and complained of arrogant behavior by the
bottom-floor occupant’s wife! He also complained of too much noise from the
bottom-floor disturbing their sleep and such other behaviors that are
un-social. Using his clout with the secretary of the association, he even managed
a meeting of the society to which the bottom-floor occupant was called and
‘threatened’ by the society with expulsion!!
All for what? His own boorish
behavior and un-couth response to a reasonable request. He also did not realize
that civic laws prescribe ‘vicarious liability’ of neighbors that he could even
be punished under law. Using the ignorance of the bottom-floor occupant and his
own ‘connections’, he berated, bullied and ended up harassing a man who
actually deserved relief.
Most of the time we humans are
like this. We would do anything to make our position comfortable. No law, no
decency, no parity no other
consideration for others matter when it is a matter of our convenience. But
when it comes to others, we display three sets of behaviors:
One, when the other persons have
no impact on our own comfort zone. In this case, we will ooze philosophy,
uphold all the virtues and praise, insist and demand good behavior from
everyone else in this world.
Two, when it impacts our
neighbors or the people in our vicinity (without affecting us). In this case we
will eulogize and exhort them to display the sanest, manly and virtuous
behavior. Mostly this ‘talk’ we will do only in the privacy of our own group
and in all probability show off to our friends and family how ‘noble’ and
‘humane’ we are.
Three, when something impacts our
friends at least some of us will try and help, though still moralizing the
circumstances.
But when it comes to us, there
will be no holds barred. Rules that do not suit us are vehemently condemned as
unfair; rules that can be broken are done so with impunity; what can be
manipulated are given to the wolves and as we emerge victorious, the bugles are
sounded and our ‘smartness’ in brow beating is celebrated as heroic.
Thus we behave as though there
are always two sets of rules: One for you and one for the rest of the world.
Funny things we humans are!! A society that has built on strong moral
foundations is the house that Jesus said as ‘built on rock’. But most revel in
building it on sand. When the foundations shake and distress calls, we blame
God and everyone else. Most of the stress that we see around us and in us
originates from such weak foundations. This may sound like philosophy, ideally
unsuited for life. But when one stops for a second and contemplates we realize
that we are at the root of our miseries.
Compassion, understanding,
accommodation and civility are the strongest foundations that we can lay for
our society. Expecting the faceless ‘society’ to uphold these values while
indulging in crass selfishness is like the proverbial cat closing its eyes
thinking that the world is dark. There is an exceptionally meaningful prayer
(St Francis of Assisi) that I have
come across, as given below:
Lord, make me an
instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let
me sow love;
Where there is injury,
pardon;
Where there is doubt,
faith;
Where there is despair,
hope;
Where there is darkness,
light;
Where there is sadness,
joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so
much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to
understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that
we receive.
It is in pardoning that we
are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we
are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
