I want to be a nurse.....

This was what Charlie Browne's friend told him in Peanuts series, when asked about her preference for white shoes!!

She did wear white shoes and a white coat too. At about four feet plus and bit thin, she gave me the impression of a school girl who wants to 'play' nurse. Well, this was not so...she IS a nurse...I couldn't un-believe... for we were in the hospital room where my friend was admitted for an operation and she had come with the battery of equipments that only nurses bring around in hospitals. She must have realised that I was actually staring at her in wonder. She broke an infectious smile and asked:

"would you mind?", holding out a prescription, " get this from the pharmacy, please".

I shook my head and returned with the medicines. By then she had struck a lively conversation with my friend; knew that I had come over to give him company; could not speak  local language and had a son in a medical college!! My turn to know. She had finished her nursing training and joined this hospital a year back; belonged to the place; enjoyed being a nurse; and yes, she can speak a smattering of my mother tongue!

In the next three days that I was with my friend, she was there every one of her shifts on time and usually left a little later after her shift. I kept seeing her smile infectiously at every patient, sometimes pampering them and sometime chiding them. While her pampering managed to touch a cord in the patient, her chiding never stung. She would know exactly what the patient wanted and seemed to materialise with a shot-tablet-pain reliever-a pot-whatever, just when they needed it.

As I kept seeing her, I wondered what the patients would do had there not been a nurse like her? Doctors will prescribe medicines, operate on, come on rounds to say encouraging words and of course bill you handsomely, irrespective. It is a nurse who actually takes the patient through the fears, anxieties, traumas and shudders with her smile, encouragement and enthusiasm. What will we do without good nurses? How will we ever come back to health if they aren't there? Oh, how many of us actually care to even say thank you to them? We keep praising our family doctor and his referral doctors for keeping us in good shape. Lest we forget, it was the nurses in their clinics and hospitals who actually gave the courage to stand through our bad health. They deserve our gratitude....do not forget to thank them the next time you are attended to by one of them....       

May her wish come true...

We were just walking down to the bus stop when my friend suddenly stopped in front of a gate.

"Hello, Jay", she said to some body. So I also turned around and looked at Jay. She was a girl of 14 or 15, dressed in a T shirt and skirts, her hands holding a bunch of hay about to be fed to a cow standing in her yard, already chewing her cud. Her hair was unruly, her forehead shone with sweat but.....the smile was brilliant. The other wise could-have-been-awkward birthmark across her forehead actually seemed to accentuate her wide grin. Her eyes lit up seeing my friend and she hurriedly pushed the hay into the opening mouth of the cow. Wiping her forehead with the back of her palm, she sprinted to the gate and unmindful of the cow's spittle on her hand shook my friends hands vigorously, her grin widening.

"Meet Jay", said my friend and it was my turn to be bestowed the vigorous handshake and infectious grin. Since I did not speak the local language, I queried her in English as to what did she do.

"I", said Jay, emphasizing it with a touch of her bosom, "I...student!!"

"Great", I told her, "and which class would you be in?"

"Class...oh, yes...I know..class..." then she simply counted nine on her fingers and held them up to me so that I had no doubts as to which class she was at school. The grin too was as wide as her two hands!!

All this while, my friend was looking at her indulgently. Turning to me, she asked: "Do you know what jay wants to be?". I blinked.

"Jay wants to be a wrestler!". Watching my eyes widen, Jay simply put both her hands half up, squatted in the classic wrestler's pose and then tapped both her thighs. I could not miss the sudden change of her expression into that of a wrestler in the ring, eyes focused on the opponent and breath coming in short spurts. Looking up to me, Jay managed her thoughts in English:

"Want to play for India....me good, you know....coach tell me...lot of practice..."

Some one else would have said in volumes what she told me in four short expressions. The grit and focus of a keen wrestler showed. I wished her all the best and blessed her by touching her head. As both of us left the gate for the bus stop, I was lost in thoughts. My friend asked me quietly,"you are thinking of the child's background and wonder how she would achieve her dream?"

I sighed in answer. Jay lived in a small house with parents both of whom were ordinary labour. They had one cow and two bulls, but no land. She went to the government school, because there is no fee. She ran errands for neighbours and earned pocket money to both help her parents as well as pay to her coach. Any other girl child in her place in India probably would have been 'given' in marriage at her age. Her parents, the simple labour folk, would not dream of doing so. They were content that their daughter was happy doing what she did. Knowing that sports coaching takes a lot of money and even sponsorship, all I could do was to sigh. Wish I had the money and contacts to sponsor that child. My friend only said, "Amen".

There are hundreds of children in this world who are capable of doing the impossible. They say, the path makes itself for those who tread with grit. Jay knows the path and I pray that the path makes itself so that she could travel to her destiny. So grant her God! Amen.        

There is no one else...

The Knowledge which does not steal you from yourself; Ignorance is better than such knowledge

 

There is no one else…

The other day we were at the golf course. In our four ball, one was a pro, two were good players and I was just a green horn. As the game progressed, the three of them extended niceties on me by complementing my strokes and egging me on for better shots. As we proceeded for hole number five, I managed to go OB. As I went over to position for the second stroke, one my companions said, “listen friend, in golf, you do not get fixed with a bad shot. Remember, you are not playing against anyone but your self!”

What a wonderful lesson.

Even in life, I bet it is so. We are always playing against someone or other. We keep telling our self that if we do not clinch that deal, some one else will; if we do not make it to next promotion, someone else will; if our children do not get into IIT, someone else will; if we do not try, someone else will, etc. There is always a competition for something or other. We are always on the run.

What do we want? This is a million dollar question. As we look around we also see that even those who have achieved things out of the ordinary crave to reach elsewhere. Some of them know where else to go. But quite some are not sure. Everyone wants something else but do not appear to be satisfied with what they have got. Why?

Man exists in three states at all times - body, mind and heart.

Bodily needs, in Maslow’s words are basic needs. Food, shelter, clothing and sex. If you carefully look into this barring sex other three abate at some point of time. At least wanting to have something more reduces since it can no more be enjoyed.

The Mind has different needs. Knowledge, achievements, and wealth are essentially of the mind. Depending on the orientation that everyone takes we keep seeking more and more of this through out our life. There apparently is no limit as to how much of these that one can have.

The heart has such cravings that outlive our physical life. Love, esteem, pride, sex and a host of other things that the heart seeks actually shape the way we live.

If we sit down and contemplate that it is our heart that actually controls the mind and body to act the way we do and seek the things that we want. Even the negative traits of arrogance and anger are born out of the clash between heart’s desire and mind’s rationalization. Heart tells us to seek the most beautiful woman in the world. Cold logic of the mind tells us that unless you are the most handsome, wealthy and prominent man of this world you may not get an opportunity even to say hello to her (!). That of course results in frustration. Even in our own offices, families and elsewhere, if we stop for a minute and think we would realize that the cause of anger, anguish and arrogance is this clash between what the heart seeks and what the mind tells.

Bodily needs do sometimes control the heart and mind. A sexually perverted man is actually a slave of his bodily desire. It is just that he does not know how to give expression to his desire. A thief is again a man guided by his desire gone awry. Those who find comfort in swan-feather beds are as much slaves of their body as those who claim to find comfort on footpath.

If we stop for a second in all these pursuits and think as to what we actually need, perhaps we will laugh at out self. We will also wonder weather we actually did what we did for our own self or for someone else. We would wonder if we actually could use what we have accumulated. While amassing wealth is by itself not undesirable, thinking that ‘if I do not do it, what will happen to future generations’ is quite worth a debate. Surprisingly, when we get into serious questioning as to what do we actually want, at some point we end up staring at a blank wall because we do not whom we are doing it for.

The children for whom most of us believe that we actually living for (in the Asian, particularly South Asian context, children’s needs are a predominant factor guiding parental actions) grow up one day, earn, get married and then suddenly cease to be the motivation for which we have been doing things. Perhaps we could start again in the name of grand children but the residual energies that most of us are left with do not permit vigorous pursuits the way we did for our own children.

Alright then, how about the lady for whom we were ready to live or die for? A few years into marriage and you find that what we started out together for actually has transmuted into a grind of the routine, liberally doused with love, affection and understanding in some cases and not so in other cases, but a grind alright.

What about that trail blazing career that we started with? Success after success later once you have reached the pinnacles of achievement, then one day you find that there is a need to step down or aside because it is so shallow as well as impossible to carry on for ever that way. We do not know whether people like Narayan Murthy and Ratan Tata will ever write about this. But it can be presumed safely that if they had found what they always sought, they would not have retired. They have retired because what they have sought is beyond what they have achieved.

About money, business and a horde of other things that we seek in our lives, we can continue to debate. At the end of all these debates we would come to a point where we do not know what else we want. Do we really need something else or are we craving in vain? The answer is actually a mystery. But I strongly urge you to reflect upon Sant Kabir who sang thus:

 I Said To The Wanting-Creature Inside Me

I said to the wanting-creature inside me:
What is this river you want to cross?
There are no travelers on the river-road, and no road.
Do you see anyone moving about on that bank, or nesting?

There is no river at all, and no boat, and no boatman.
There is no tow rope either, and no one to pull it.
There is no ground, no sky, no time, no bank, no ford!

And there is no body, and no mind!
Do you believe there is some place that will make the
soul less thirsty?
In that great absence you will find nothing.

Be strong then, and enter into your own body;
there you have a solid place for your feet.
Think about it carefully!
Don't go off somewhere else!

Kabir says this:
just throw away all thoughts of
imaginary things,
and stand firm in that which you are.