Saturday, May 5, 2012

A stranger's Just a Friend You Do Not Know!

There are moments in our life when we feel that we are alone. Surrounded by an adoring wife, loving children and loyal friends, yet we sometimes do. Why? Because there is something that is connected to the universe in us that we do not really know. Mostly, we are content and secure in the world that we are familiar with. On rare occassions our soul tries to dial up that one number with which it is connected without knowing what the correct number is. And you feel lonely. I do not know what others do at such moments. I listen to Jim Reeves, particularly this one the lyrics of which is given below:

If ever your life is lonely
If ever your feeling low
There's one thing you must remember
A stranger's just a friend you do not know.

I'll pass along this way just one time only

A sweeping moment in eternity
Why should I spend my life alone and lonely
If just a word of friendship is the key

A warm smile can bring me true love

A warm heart can make it so
There's no need for being lonely
A stranger's just a friend you do not know.

No Matter where you go. of this you can be sure

A stranger's just a friend you do not know... 


No one is lonely. It is just that we do not know where to connect with. Do not give up being lonely and morose. Remeber Jim Reeves!

The Name!

Every child has a right to a name. Read the story on the next page!

Nanny Mcphee and The Matter of Faith!


Nanny McPhee, in the last dialogue of the movie says, ‘Lesson Five, to have faith, is complete’. The punch word is ‘to have faith’.

The other day, a friend of mine walked in with one of the classic morose expressions possible. A cup of tea and some cajoling latter, he confessed. A lot of trouble this life verily is. No end ever seems to come. Even before one ends, other just pops up to make sure there is no peace. Money, children, work, wife, life --- ah, give me a break!!

Sometimes, patient hearing solves half the problem, they say. So after hearing him out, I dared him to also tell me what he does to face the uphill of his life.

Come on, he said. You are a friend and you know with what courage I have been inching up. It is just that, one odd day, you feel down and out and that’s it. Of course, you know I have great faith in my Guru and I am sure his blessings will help to find a way.

I was thinking of another friend of mine who once told me more or less the same dialogue – I have great faith in my Guru and he will show me the way!

As humans we believe in a lot of people to help us find a way in our life. We have gurus for everything – yoga, management, lifestyle, personal problems and et al. In our thousands we end up at their doors, sometimes listening, sometimes chanting and every time falling at their feet, if not literally, mentally. We get to hear the stories of people who found great relief through their gurus in the radio and TV. But the question that has always haunted me is how this healing takes place. Is it our faith in the guru? Is it the guru’s faith in his ‘powers’? Is it possible that someone else has powers to give you what you need?

Gurus of the world are great men because they have found a way to control their base and enhance their energies. But can they live my life? They can show me the way. But walk I must on the path shown. It is not a matter of faith in the guru’s powers then. It is a matter of having faith in my ability to walk the path. Faith that the path shown is the most suitable one and faith in me that I can walk! By all means, then, go to your guru with faith that he may show you a path. But remember that it is your faith in your self that will take you to the destination.

Remember what the Gita says ‘I am neither the cause, nor the karma. It is you who has to act. But when you act with dispassion and surrender the fruits of you karma to me, you are absolved of its consequences’.

That is what I told my friend.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What can not be cured, must be endured!


We had a hilarious situation today. A colleague rang up and handed a poser - one of his subordinates, otherwise intelligent and action-oriented had only one issue. He was so fiercely independent in his opinion that what ever you told him, he would do what he wants to do. In the process, there were more challenges to sort out than results obtained.

How to solve a problem like Maria? How to hold the moon beam in your hand? (Courtesy lyrics from the movie Sound of Music) were the MDQs (Million Dollar Question)! 

Everyone who heard the vexatious to hilarious instances that the colleague narated, came out with some suggestion. Frankly, I could only think of a story my father used to narrate:

There was this father of the girl who succeeded in getting her married to a groom who was acknowledged to be a good man. After a while, a friend of the father who could not attend the marriage function visited them to convey his apologies for not attending the marriage and to inquire how was it going with the young couple. He found the father sitting with his palms on the chin, deeply into contemplation. The conversation went some what like this:

Hello! Heard that your groom is a good man and the marriage was grand. But I see you lost in some thought?

Oh, yeah, yeah (sigh!)

Well, any problem?

No, no actually I am puzzled.

Why?

You know, our ithihasa (the holy Hindu scriptures) say that a perfect man Like Lord shri Ram possesses 64 virtues (good attributes or characteristics). My son in law seems to have 62 of them.

Wow, lucky man! And you sit here holding your palms to your chin?

Okey, ask me what are those two attributes that he does not have.

What?

One, he does not know what is good or bad. Second, he wouldn’t listen if you tell him. He has all the other 62 virtues!

The friend did not know what to say.

Sometimes you just have to laugh (and lump it too!) about what is given. Humans are funny. In case you do not believe me, just take a breath and look around!!

We may think that we are cat’s whiskers and there is nothing that we can not handle. Look again, there will be things that we simply have live with. So what do you do? 

ABC.

A – avoid
B – by pass
C – confuse

If ABC does not work, better live with it! To quote my father again, ‘What can not be cured, must be endured!’      

Managing Conflicts In the Work Place

Introduction

1.         Productivity in any organization depends on various factors like well defined organizational objectives, optimal manpower, infrastructure and efficient team work. An intrinsic factor that poses great challenge in the work place and impacts productivity negatively is conflict that arises in the environment. Conflicts in work place arise in every conceivable dimension, viz,

·                    Inter departmental conflicts
·                    Inter personal conflicts
·                    Internal conflicts within individuals

Managing Inter Departmental Conflicts

2.         Conflicts between departments arise when their objectives are at cross roads and tangentially differ from company objectives. At times, rivalry due to differences in perception amongst people in charge of departments gets transformed into departmental rivalries. Top management has the onerous responsibility to be sensitive to factors that result in such conflict and resolve them through skillful management and re-orientation. Training people in leadership positions and building teamwork ethos at higher level management are crucial to prevent these conflicts from damaging company performance. A functioning and open channel of communication, both vertical and lateral, is vital in any organization. Effective and clear channel of communication mitigates most of the causes of conflicts.

Managing Inter Personal Conflicts

3.         These occur at all levels of interaction primarily due to perceptional differences. Sensitivity to ethno-social differences, empathy and transparency in HR policies are fundamental to minimize conflict situations. Managements generally believe that employees end up at odds with each other due to jealousy, lack of attitude and unhealthy competition. There is also a tendency to brand an employee who voices his opinions as ‘rebellious’ or ‘attention seeker’. This is not always true. Across the spectrum, employees have a deep sense of right & wrong, as much as the management does. Since the management knows the ‘big picture’, employees’ perception may seem unviable or even down right silly. Under such conditions there is a tendency to force the decisions ‘down the throat’ resulting in conflicts. In my experience, I find that this is counter productive. When faced with such situations, it would be better to take the employees into confidence and make them appreciate the need to adopt a particular course of action (of course, without divulging what they ought not to know!). Needless to say, a lot of tact and conviction to convince are needed in these moments to resolve a crisis. Employees usually surprise you by their willing cooperation when you tell them why we need to do what we intend to do. Remember that leadership is not about taking people where you want them to reach; it is about showing them how to reach where they want to reach.

4.         Interpersonal conflicts have a purely personal dimension too at work places. People tend to bicker and quarrel when they find that they are marginalized, not given their due, or perceive bias. Professional jealousy indeed is a matter to reckon with. However, one also finds that in organizations where the objectives of all functions are well defined; the pace of work is healthy; reward mechanism is both tangible and prompt (not all rewards need to be monetary, ‘good show’ pats work wonders too!), minor irritants dissolve automatically and major ones do not get time to seed and grow. Internal audit of work environment, removal of procedural hurdles to professional achievements and opportunities to growth through a healthy and fair process of talent spotting are some of the steps an organization needs to take to minimizing grouse and conflicts in work environment.

Managing Internal Conflicts within Individuals

5.         One may wonder why this is relevant to an organization. As individuals, we all have various pressures playing on our minds all the time. Needs of the family, duty to parents, education of children, acquisition of property and comforts for life, saving for rainy days and various such factors constantly work on our subconscious. These tend to distract an individual at times from the tasks at hand. Add to them the demands and pressures of the work place as well as the justifiable anxiety for professional advancement, one can understand the complexity of pressures playing upon our minds. These pressures find a crack at the office or at home and invariably explode. Worse, we find that some of the most efficient employees suddenly become obstructionist, difficult or even, demotivated. Sadly, some even opt to end their lives, unable to cope up with these pressures.

6.         It would sound logical to say that an organization could not care less, if an employee is ‘weak’ in his mind. But saying so only reflects the organization’s inability to understand that people are its strongest asset. Processes and machines can only deliver when its people do. And, everyone counts. It takes years of experience (at organisation’s expense) to produce a good workman. Just letting him go makes a vacuum that is not only difficult to fill but may take as many years too.

7.         The family of the employee who chooses such a path loses the bread winner and adds to the social responsibilities of the society at large.

8.         Therefore, there are professional, moral and social responsibilities on an organization to help an individual find answers to his troubles. Professionally, there ought to be policies and programs that cater to the individual’s need for recreation, medical cover, travel, housing and insurance. A purposeful counseling mechanism that can help him find answers to his other worries is also needed. The message that organization ‘cares for you’ is one that every employee must get from every facet of its functioning and climate.       
 
Conclusion
    
9.         There is also a newer dimension to managing inter departmental conflicts. A controlled and ‘guided’ conflict can result in greater productivity. It is like the conduct of war. The organization must know the stakes, be prepared for ‘necessary’ losses, regulate it to minimize ‘collateral’ damage and declare ‘ceasefire’ the moment the goal is realized. It is what it sounds – a game. But then, that is what leadership and management is all about. Those who do not want to aspire and grow by taking challenges can not run corporations. They may well be saints!

Seniority - The Other Word for Maturity!

Seniority - The Other Word for Maturity!


There was an interesting episode today. Two colleagues involved in a project happened to show the kind of rift that would eventually affect the completion of the project itself. Without own conscious involvement, they seemed to have blindly believed their subordinates and almost ended up in a war of words. One subordinate happened to have known me and confided the state of affairs. A meeting then was arranged where I could interact with both of them individually first and together later. There were many ‘he said this first’ or ‘did this later’ and vice versa from both of them. Frankly, I had no other personal interest than being well known to them. After trying lots of logic and friendly ‘pressure’, the last thing that I could tell them was this story:
There was once this great king of the forest (Lion) who ruled over his subjects with as much benevolence as he was strict.
In the adjoining desert was the ship of the desert ‘Camel’ who was adored by his own clan.
And in the forest was also a minister (fox) who was counted upon by the king for his cleverness as well as cunning! Having fed on fair share of the meat of every kill made by the king, the fat fox used to go for long walks to shed some calories. In one of his sojourns to the edge of the forest he happened to eye the camel. Smitten by the beauty of his gait and health, the fox became hungry for his flesh. So he set upon his king feeding him every ill word purportedly spoken by the Camel about him.
He also set about befriending the camel and filled his ears with stories of the cowardice of his king and how the animals of the forest despised him.
In so doing, he arranged to have both of them meet so that they could ‘sort out each other’.
So, one fine day the lion walked to the edge of the forest and called upon the camel to face him in battle. However, when the huge but gentle giant of a camel strode up, he was totally taken aback by his size and apparent strength. The camel, similarly having never seen a lion before, was struck by the beauty and majesty of the lion. When both of them, face to face actually realized the poise, dignity and strength of each other, they set about praising each other and pledged to become friends.
Needless to say, the exposed fox ended up on the palate of the king!
Much to the delight of the dwellers of the forest and desert, both the kingdoms flourished by the friendships between the kings!
There will always be some subordinates who will be on their private agenda and ego trips. The more senior one becomes, the more we need to learn to accommodate others, after first understanding them. No one is holy. But then what is the use of all the years of sweat and grind, if simple understandings fail!
The story struck its mark. Have a great day!! 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Seniority - The Other Word for Maturity!


There was an interesting episode today. Two colleagues involved in a project happened to show the kind of rift that would eventually affect the completion of the project itself. Without own conscious involvement, they seemed to have blindly believed their subordinates and almost ended up in a war of words. One subordinate happened to have known me and confided the state of affairs. A meeting then was arranged where I could interact with both of them individually first and together later. There were many ‘he said this first’ or ‘did this later’ and vice versa from both of them. Frankly, I had no other personal interest than being well known to them. After trying lots of logic and friendly ‘pressure’, the last thing that I could tell them was this story:

There was once this great king of the forest (Lion) who ruled over his subjects with as much benevolence as he was strict.

In the adjoining desert was the ship of the desert ‘Camel’ who was adored by his own clan.

And in the forest was also a minister (fox) who was counted upon by the king for his cleverness as well as cunning! Having fed on fair share of the meat of every kill made by the king, the fat fox used to go for long walks to shed some calories. In one of his sojourns to the edge of the forest he happened to eye the camel. Smitten by the beauty of his gait and health, the fox became hungry for his flesh. So he set upon his king feeding him every ill word purportedly spoken by the Camel about him.

He also set about befriending the camel and filled his ears with stories of the cowardice of his king and how the animals of the forest despised him.

In so doing, he arranged to have both of them meet so that they could ‘sort out each other’.

So, one fine day the lion walked to the edge of the forest and called upon the camel to face him in battle. However, when the huge but gentle giant of a camel strode up, he was totally taken aback by his size and apparent strength. The camel, similarly having never seen a lion before, was struck by the beauty and majesty of the lion. When both of them, face to face actually realized the poise, dignity and strength of each other, they set about praising each other and pledged to become friends.

Needless to say, the exposed fox ended up on the palate of the king!

Much to the delight of the dwellers of the forest and desert, both the kingdoms flourished by the friendships between the kings!

There will always be some subordinates who will be on their private agenda and ego trips. The more senior one becomes, the more we need to learn to accommodate others, after first understanding them. No one is holy. But then what is the use of all the years of sweat and grind, if simple understandings fail!

The story struck its mark. Have a great day!! 

Will of the People Must Prevail

On 19 th November 1863, President Abraham Lincoln spoke about 273 words that eventually became the bedrock of the concept of democracy. Lin...