Believe.

The other day, I was browsing the net. With my son about to complete his school, one of the things I did daily was to check out on various colleges. In this instance, the homepage of one of the leading management schools was in front. I had opened the page that lists the faculty with their profile and as I scrolled down, my cursor stopped. There was no photograph but the name and profile was that of a colleague-friend-philosopher who years ago (18 years at that time!) I had the privilege to befriend. As my luck would have, we had parted ways in pursuit of each other’s dreams. While both of us had become successful in our own field, the affection and respect for each other had lingered on in our hearts. It was just that we had had no communication and we were unaware of each other’s whereabouts. Since the photo was not there, I was not sure whether the surge of exhilaration rising in my heart at reading the name was misplaced.

Long ago in my childhood, I remember my father telling me that there is nothing more anyone can trust than the voice of one’s own heart. So, I had to find this person whose photo was not on the net. A few calls to my friends across the country and one of them volunteered to check out since he happened to be going to the management school.

I waited.

And the friend called to say that indeed it was my long lost friend at that school and gave the telephone number also.

I do not know how many of us experienced the sheer elation, the way one’s heart sings with joy when you meet a long-lost friend. I did and even though it was ten years back and ever since we have remained in constant touch, it is still difficult for me to explain that moment of joy!

Did someone say that there is nothing called ‘fate’? Oh, you have not seen life then

.

There are no explanations to many things that happen in our life. If we put them through the test of ‘science’ as we know it, we will only end up drawing puzzles. A careful blend of science to the extent that we need to enhance our standards of life and understanding of the things that surround us AND faith to fill in all those spaces unfilled by ‘science’ is needed in life. 

We exist because we believe. We aspire because we believe. We achieve because we believe.

Everything else, including science, is just a tool to demonstrate our belief.

Believe.

Not just a birthday to remeber....

It is 1045 h on 02 Oct 13. World Non-Violence Day. From New Delhi to Timbuktu (this place actually is in Mali, Africa. Google it and you will know) across the globe, scores of idols of the man whose belief in non-violence led to the downfall of the greatest empire the world has seen would have been garlanded. Bhajans would have been sung or would be in the process of being pitched for closure. From commoners to ambassadors to presidents and kings would have bowed their head as a mark of respect and said whatever most appropriate thing to say on this occasion is. The listeners or the crowd if at all would have hummed and hued their ‘yeah, yeah’. By around noon, purportedly the great believers in the cause that this man espoused would have retired to their more important assignments of the day, satisfied that they have marked this man’s 144^th birth anniversary in the most appropriate manner that would be convincing enough to those who saw them on TV or heard them on radio. In so far as the millions who nether watched TV or heard radio, yet another day in their lives would be trudging towards wherever it takes them to.

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, the lawyer who could not stand and speak two sentences; the man whose legs where so shaky that he dropped his brief and ran from the court to hide;

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, the man who would take the blows of police lathi with a smile during anti-Rowlett protests; the man who went on a fast that brought the bloodshed in Naokali to a stop; the man even his bitterest opponents would not hesitate to meet; the man whom a nation of 33 crores called “Bapu” (father); the man who took his assailant’s bullets with just two words (calling on his favorite God);

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, the man who forever was seeking to know his own self; who in the process of which found a people of 33 crore thirsting for an identity;

The man whom we call Mahatma.

There are as much we can see as human fallibilities in Gandhi that we find in our selves. There are as many similarities too. But the only thing that makes him Mahatma and rest of us as ordinary mortals is his un-assailable faith in his own self. Where he believed, he went irrespective of the consequences; where he believed, he did irrespective of the consequences; where he believed, he gave and received irrespective of the consequences. So, that which sets him apart is a simple aspect called: Belief.

There is one more aspect that must be mentioned about him – his utter selflessness. But then what can we say about someone who wanted nothing for himself; not because he had no needs; not because he had no family; not because he wanted to be bigger than life; just because he was always in search of something that would define him as he was. The one who is content in himself has very little need for others.  In mammoth crowds, he could stand alone; in solitude, he could be heard. Actually there is very little of this Gandhi that we know. We are content calling him ‘Bapu’ once a year and perhaps more content being oblivious to his persona. As they say, simplicity is the most complex thing to understand.

It is not his person that is at debate. What appalls is the utter ignorance amongst us on his understanding of this country. Gandhi saw the nation as he would see himself – with utmost criticism that was aimed at discovering its strength. No one understood (though we all quote) when he said ‘India lives in its villages’. What a thousand economists cannot say in two hundred thousand volumes, he said in one line. In case of doubt, consider the following:

·      More than 60 % of India lives in villages. They remain home to the largest population and of course, vote banks. (That is why you see the ilk’s of Laloo going overboard to fool the village folks with their electoral gimmicks)

·        While caste and creed may appear to be ruling the village roost, villages remain one of the most coherent units of Indian society where everyone is an integral part of its socio-cultural-economic life

·    Inspite of the industrial economy that we have built as a nation, in a billion ways the cottage and village industries remain part of our everyday life. Over 80% of Indian households depend on what is produced in villages and rural areas.

·     The economy IS (in capital, underlined and never-out-scored) agrarian and try what we may, will remain so.

With this background, look at Gandhi. All his reform agenda was always aimed at villages – be it social causes, economic causes or what may be. He was not playing to the gallery. He was stating facts, seeing the truth and therefore advocating for the same. Say, 65 years of governance had consistently focused on basics like electricity, water, sanitation and education for the villages of India, the India of today would be far different than what we see. If the orientation for village industries, land reforms and agriculture had been blended correctly and implemented, we would not be seeing the rural upheavals that we see today. This would have meant a more contented country-side and a stronger economy. This also would have meant lesser slums, crime and demographic pressure on urban areas.

It is not possible to debate and understand Gandhi in a couple of pages. He needs more time and devotion. It is not to say that he is to be reinvented as a panacea for all the ills of our society. But, his relevance to a world that is ridden with poverty, violence and purposelessness can never be understated.

We need Gandhi. Not as a fossil of yester years to be cherished in a museum, but as a living idea that we need to nourish in our minds and apply in our daily lives. We are also Gandhis, if we can find the strength to discover our follies, rid our biases and unite for an India that will rise as the phoenix does from the ashes of its ambiguities, fears and uncertainties.

We need Gandhi.    

The small matters...

It was an amazing dialogue and it came from someone we normally do not expect capable of such thoughts. Oh, I must first narrate what happened.

I was at a dry cleaner's shop. As I pulled out the jacket to give it to him, both of us noticed a small tear at the shoulder joint. 'You must get it it mended before giving it to me', said the cleaner. Alright, I went looking for a tailor in my car. Here was the past middle age tailor with his customary paan (beetel nuts) in his mouth and at that time with nothing to keep him occupied. As I showed the jacket, he looked  at me quizzically first, then at my car. With a sumptuous 'no offence meant' smile he then asked me

 " dho rupaiah ka silai ke liye, pachas ka petrol? Apne  hi haath se siladethe?" (for a stitch for two rupees, why have you burnt petrol for fifty rupees? You could have stitched it at home).

I told him that I was at the Dry Cleaner and of course I had no thread and needle. So would he mind?

"Arre, na na saab. Humara tho pesha hein. Yehi dho rupiah se hamara ghar chalta hein" ( No, no sir. do not mind what I said. This is my profession and my home runs on this two rupees only) So saying, he stitched in a jiffy and my Cleaner was happy. But the dialogue has kept going in my mind for over three or four days.

A simpler wisdom on economy and self help could not have been given by the most prestigious B-School for a thousand dollars. Most of the time we tend to think that small is ignorable and will eventually pay through our nose to mend it with big.

Not just in terms of money but in life too, many of us take no notice of things very small - relationships, colleagues, work, family, children and every other thing around which our lives reolve - we are 'blissfully' unaware that it is the small and most of the time intangible things that actually make us happy.  And like I did, we do spend big money thinking that money makes up for every thing.

'Stitch in time' is perhaps a proverb not for mending clothes but is apt to be followed in life too. The small matters!! 

  

A question of language...

The biggest challenge or rather, one of the biggest challenges in life, is to give advise. 

Just the other day, I was on the bus to a city centre. The young man sitting next to me had a flyer in his hand that read " Do you want to make it big? Learn to communicate first. Contact xyz for spoken English classes." I queried him out of curiosity.

He had completed his under-graduation in arts; diploma in computer programming and a certificate course in hardware maintenance. He could not pursue his dreams of  making into an engineer (at least half of India wants to!) because his father could not afford. He had worked part-time here and there and just then was on his way to another job interview. Yes, he was contemplating whether to subscribe to 'Spoken English' classes or not because at each interview that he faced, it appeared that the job went to those who spoke better English.

Perhaps he was right. Even though I ventured to suggest to him that he may perhaps like to hone his language skills, there was as yet another thought that wormed through me.

Are we looking at English because we want a job or are we looking at it because that is essential to perform both in the interview as well as at the career thereafter?

MDQ (Million Dollar Question)!

Language, particularly English, skills today are considered as important as mastery of any professional subject. Rightfully so. In a fast-shrinking world, where you and I need to work together we may as well interact and understand each other better through a common language. The other day Times of India carried a huge article on 'A question of employability'. The article in nutshell said that societal pressure, inadequate infrastructure, poor quality of teachers and outdated syllabi contribute more towards un-employability than the ability to speak in English.

Every developing society has the same story. Employment is not just a desire, it is a fundamental right. It is just that in our enthusiasm to obtain employment, we forget the ancient adage ' So you sow; So you reap'. Proliferating colleges, huge donations, reservations as against merit in the selection of teachers, poor pay for teachers in private sector colleges, job rather than quality oriented education and syllabi, lack of encouragement to original research and such other issues have a direct impact on the employability of the school and collages graduates that we produce every year.

As I was even suggesting to the young man that he must hone up his language skills (this particular one appeared to need that), I could not help my mind wander into the system reforms that we in the society must look for; ask for and work for so as to enhance our children's employability than merely helping them to speak better English.

Anyone seen the movie 'English Vinglish'? I believe the Japanese enjoy the movie!!!

To be a parent....

Oh, yes! Pink as petals of rose and as soft, a round face in which two black-grape eyes twinkle, soft black hair plastered on to the pate and two little arms and legs suggesting some movement, swathed in a baby blanket held close to your chest that has swollen with pride and bursting with emotion - to be a father is the proudest moment in your life. Not equal to that of the mother who bore him through nine months and nursed him with her own blood, but then to give forth an expression of life its form, well, the feeling is different.

It was seventeen years before when I held our second child in my hands, perhaps half an hour after he stepped into this world. Though the mirth and joy of seeing the little life gazing into my grinning face was unbounded, little did I realize that this bundle of joy would one day (after a mere 17 years) be taller than me and be ready to roam the wide, unexplored world all by himself.

These seventeen years appear to have gone by in a jiffy, and difficult to believe that he was just born then. Bringing him up was as much fun as was demanding, helped in a small measure by the joyous journey that we went through with the first. There are times when my wife turns around and tells me that I have pampered and protected them beyond limits and they are 'papa's spoiled brats'. Well, she is right and I know she is. There have been moments when I did go mad at them and others when I have placed them on my head (literally) and danced around. Much have I denied my wife and self, but to the best of my abilities I provided whatever they needed to go ahead with life. 

I do not know if I have been a good father.  I do not know whether they will be great men or simpletons. I do not know if they would chase their dreams or simply be content with what life gives them. I do not know whether they will love us when we are old or merely discharge an obligation. I do not know whether they will find their true love in their life-partners or they would merely go through the motions of married life. I do not know if they have the passion for living small things and small moments of life or be disillusioned with unfounded aspirations.

But what I do know that we have loved them with all our heart. Through thick and thin, we have shown them to stand for their principles and beliefs; to take life with equanimity; not to spite those with better disposition but to aspire and persevere for what their heart earns for; to care for lesser mortals and to do what they can to anyone in need; to trust their own self and to have abiding faith in God.

Parenting is not for the weak-hearted and let me tell you, if you put your hearts on your children, well, there can be no better living reward. It has not been easy for us, that is to be honest, but then we have two lovely sons whom we cherish and that is the greatest gift of life!  

In the wild...

In the past three months or so, life revolved in a different dimension. As a typical Indian parent, I was into a massive project to find a college from where my youngster can do medicine. Let me assure you that this exercise in India is so complicated and mind boggling (it could be extremely simple if one has tonnes of money or the child is extraordinarily academic in his orientation - I have enough to educate him anywhere but not enough to pay for his seat and  an intelligent, talented but fun loving kid who is quite okay with his studies) that parents go on a massive spin through this time of the year.

Yes, like they say every tunnel has a brighter end, if you persist in your search, we also found the bright light in Ukraine and soon my youngster will be packing his bags for six years there!!

As an individual and parent, my experiences through these three months are so are worth a volume and I intend pampering myself with as much verbosity (!) as I can, soon. Till then, I have some things more to do in the wild....there are woods lovely and dark but I still have miles to go before I park !! 

When you dial for life....

It is an interesting story – the story of a successful young man who turned an admirable social volunteer. While on a trip out, we met this father of the Youngman. As is typical of Indians to discuss in detail as to what our children are up to, we ended up asking the father about his son. Here’s the story:

The son finished Marine Engineering and joined a shipping company that paid him a handsome three hundred thousand rupees plus a month. The youngster sailed around the world and of course made his dough too. One fine day, few years later, he called up dad to say he is quitting. Dad thought perhaps he has found a better job, the brilliant son that he was! The next call the son made was from a remote tribal village off in the wild hills of Eastern Ghats, in the heart of Tamil Nadu. Son told his father that he now lived with the tribal children and was happy that he could actually do something to get them education! He invited his parents to visit him in the wild.

The obviously upset but curious parents went up the hills to meet their son. It was not just the wilds. They had to trek many hours to reach the hamlet where he lived. There were just straw huts, mud tracks and oil wick lamps (only those who could afford it). Children were half clad, elders barely clothed and the smog of poverty and illiteracy was palpable. As they approached the hamlet, they found the minor children of the hamlet rushed up to him calling him by his name. The elder children and adults of the hamlet came out to greet him with the joyful glee of someone who found his long-lost kin! The innocent and unadulterated adoration and affection that they poured on him was infectious. The apprehension and doubt that had compelled the parents to undertake the journey melted like the morning mist! Seeing the joy of those innocent children and realizing how much their son mattered to them, the parents forgot about their worries and indulged. After staying for a while with him in the hamlet and lending their moral support to his cause, they returned back to their city home, elated that their son has done them proud.

As narrated by the father, their son has now volunteered to work with MSF and is setting up camp in Sudan, after a stint of training with MSF in Germany!

Each of us takes our call on life in our own way. Most of the young men that we come across are dialing life desperately for success in terms of money. Hardly ever you come across a parent who teaches his child anything but the technique to dial for more money in their life. And then you come across someone who dials life because he wants to live it! Not to say that money is unimportant. But such callers perhaps have realized that money is not everything in life. When one knows how much is good enough, I suppose he ends up dialing life to seek and indulge in its glory further. To some such realization comes either pretty late in life; to some, never at all. But the story of this Youngman convinces me that there are few who find the call and get connected when young.

The other day my wife was narrating couple of lines from Sri Ramana Maharishi’s sayings:

“There is no conflict between work and wisdom”.

“Man’s real nature is happiness. Happiness is inborn in the true self. His search for happiness is an unconscious search for his true self. The true self is imperishable; therefore, when a man finds it, he finds a happiness that does not come to an end”.

Perhaps this young man has begun on a journey that will demonstrate the work-wisdom connection. The heart will go where the soul wills it to reach. We were glad that we met such a parent who understood the inner call his child has taken and turned into a source of inspiration for him to seek what he must eventually find!