Be the change....

The issue was quite simple. But then, we as humans have a penchant for making everything as complex as possible. While we allow our perceptions and prejudices to rule, there is little space given to reason and logic. In this instance, the issue was about a top floor neighbor sweeping his balcony and letting the water splash over the verandah of the bottom-floor occupant.

The bottom-floor occupant approached the top-floor neighbor requesting not to let the water spill over. Should such washing and pouring of water was un-avoidable, he further requested him to at least let him know so that he can remove the items kept in the bottom-floor verandah so as to prevent them from getting wet. Sounded reasonable. But the top-floor neighbor took offence. He rattled sufficient sabers on the bottom-floor occupant and refused to keep him informed.

He started to wash his verandah daily and poured excessive water. Further he went to the society (association of house occupants in that colony) and complained of arrogant behavior by the bottom-floor occupant’s wife! He also complained of too much noise from the bottom-floor disturbing their sleep and such other behaviors that are un-social. Using his clout with the secretary of the association, he even managed a meeting of the society to which the bottom-floor occupant was called and ‘threatened’ by the society with expulsion!!

All for what? His own boorish behavior and un-couth response to a reasonable request. He also did not realize that civic laws prescribe ‘vicarious liability’ of neighbors that he could even be punished under law. Using the ignorance of the bottom-floor occupant and his own ‘connections’, he berated, bullied and ended up harassing a man who actually deserved relief.

Most of the time we humans are like this. We would do anything to make our position comfortable. No law, no decency, no parity  no other consideration for others matter when it is a matter of our convenience. But when it comes to others, we display three sets of behaviors:

One, when the other persons have no impact on our own comfort zone. In this case, we will ooze philosophy, uphold all the virtues and praise, insist and demand good behavior from everyone else in this world.

Two, when it impacts our neighbors or the people in our vicinity (without affecting us). In this case we will eulogize and exhort them to display the sanest, manly and virtuous behavior. Mostly this ‘talk’ we will do only in the privacy of our own group and in all probability show off to our friends and family how ‘noble’ and ‘humane’ we are.

Three, when something impacts our friends at least some of us will try and help, though still moralizing the circumstances.

But when it comes to us, there will be no holds barred. Rules that do not suit us are vehemently condemned as unfair; rules that can be broken are done so with impunity; what can be manipulated are given to the wolves and as we emerge victorious, the bugles are sounded and our ‘smartness’ in brow beating is celebrated as heroic.

Thus we behave as though there are always two sets of rules: One for you and one for the rest of the world. Funny things we humans are!! A society that has built on strong moral foundations is the house that Jesus said as ‘built on rock’. But most revel in building it on sand. When the foundations shake and distress calls, we blame God and everyone else. Most of the stress that we see around us and in us originates from such weak foundations. This may sound like philosophy, ideally unsuited for life. But when one stops for a second and contemplates we realize that we are at the root of our miseries.

Compassion, understanding, accommodation and civility are the strongest foundations that we can lay for our society. Expecting the faceless ‘society’ to uphold these values while indulging in crass selfishness is like the proverbial cat closing its eyes thinking that the world is dark. There is an exceptionally meaningful prayer (St Francis of Assisi) that I have come across, as given below:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.